I love the Carousel of Progress.

Some might call me lame. To that I say, whatever. But I love what I love, unapologetically, and that includes The Carousel of Progress.

It was one of the first rides I went on at the Magic Kingdom during my maiden voyage to Disney World in 2018. We had just come off Big Thunder Mountain, and I was feeling both jostled and invigorated. And the Carousel of Progress seemed like the perfect in between ride to bring us back to homeostasis. I was tickled by the animatronics and the bad jokes. But that song. The message that there’s a great big beautiful tomorrow shining at the end of every day. I could cry now just thinking about it. What a beautiful message of hope and progress.

When my anxiety came back full force in 2019, the Carousel of Progress was one of the only rides that didn’t launch me straight into a panic attack, instead allowing me to lose myself in the stories of each era until the curtain came down and the lights came up. Everything else was loud and fast. Long lines. Heat. But the Carousel of Progress was 20 minutes of peace and comfort in the happiest (and most overwhelming) place on earth.

And then in 2022, I was breaking down. My sister and niece took me to Disney World for my bachelorette weekend, but I wasn’t well. I had left my teaching job and was deep in the throes of grief, missing my friends, constructing a new identity from the ground up all while planning a wedding. My body didn’t know how to calm down, so it stayed in a state of chaos, making me feel dizzy and off balance, giving me incredible stomach and back pain, my thoughts dark and terrifying. It was absolute misery.

So, we’re in the Magic Kingdom, and we walk onto the Carousel of Progress, and my hands immediately started to sweat. My heart started to race. My brain was shouting, “WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW! WE ARE NOT SAFE!” And then, the ride operator gave the speech that anyone who cannot wait the twenty minutes for the ride to end should get off now. That message sent my panic into overdrive. But I stayed, telling myself that I was, in fact, safe. All I had to do was watch the show.

For twenty minutes, I alternately watched as the eras progressed. As new technology was added to each scene. As the seasons changed with each rotation of the theater. As their lives improved. All the while, I thought, What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I get over this? Am I going to suffer forever? It certainly felt that way, that I was going to be living in these dark thoughts with this body that scared me half to death every day with no relief. There was no relief. It was never going to end. I was stuck. And angry. And tired. Oh so tired.

I made it through the show, white knuckling it all the way, but then the final refrain of “It’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow” played. My hands dried. My heart slowed. My thoughts got quiet as I listened.

Maybe today isn’t so great. Maybe you’re stuck in your anxiety. Or in a situation that is stealing your peace. But the one guarantee in life is change. Progress. It’s worth it to stay on the ride because there’s a great big beautiful tomorrow, shining at the end of every day. I would certainly hate to miss it.

Until next week, friends.